How To Help A Child With Autism Calm Down?

Discover heartfelt ways to assist your child with autism in finding calm. Uncover personalized strategies, embracing patience, and understanding unique triggers. Learn the power of effective communication and creating a safe, sensory-friendly haven for your child.

steven zauderer
Steven Zauderer
June 29, 2024
min read

Understanding Autism and Overwhelm

To effectively help children with autism calm down, it is essential to understand the nature of autism and how it can lead to overwhelming experiences. By gaining this understanding, caregivers can tailor their approach and implement appropriate calming techniques.

What is Autism?

Autism, also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects communication, social interaction, and behavior. It is characterized by a range of challenges and strengths, and it varies in severity from person to person. Individuals with autism may have difficulty with social communication, repetitive behaviors, sensory sensitivities, and a need for routine.

Sensory Overload and Overwhelm in Children with Autism

Children with autism often experience sensory overload, which occurs when their sensory system becomes overwhelmed by stimuli from the environment. This overload can lead to feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and distress. The sensory sensitivities experienced by children with autism can vary, but common triggers include loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, and certain textures.

Understanding and recognizing sensory overload in children with autism is crucial for implementing effective calming techniques. By creating a calm and supportive environment and utilizing appropriate strategies, caregivers can help children with autism manage their overwhelm and find a sense of peace.

Common Sensory Overload Triggers

  • Loud Noises
  • Bright Lights
  • Strong Smells
  • Certain Textures

By addressing the sensory challenges faced by children with autism and implementing targeted calming techniques, caregivers can provide the necessary support to help them regulate their emotions and find a sense of calm. The following sections will explore various calming techniques that can be effective in helping children with autism manage overwhelm and promote a peaceful state of mind.

Importance of Calming Techniques

For children with autism, calming techniques play a vital role in helping them manage feelings of overwhelm and achieve a sense of peace. These techniques provide essential support in reducing anxiety, promoting self-regulation, and improving overall well-being. Creating a calm and supportive environment is key to facilitating the effectiveness of these techniques.

Benefits of Calming Techniques for Children with Autism

Implementing calming techniques can have numerous benefits for children with autism. These techniques are designed to help them regulate their emotions, reduce stress, and cope with sensory overload. By incorporating calming techniques into their daily routines, children with autism can experience:


  • Reduced anxiety and stress levels
  • Improved self-regulation and emotional control
  • Enhanced focus and attention
  • Increased ability to cope with sensory challenges
  • Boosted self-confidence and self-esteem

The effectiveness of calming techniques may vary from child to child. It may require some trial and error to identify the techniques that work best for each individual. Patience and ongoing observation are key to finding the most effective strategies for managing overwhelm and promoting a sense of calm.

Creating a Calm and Supportive Environment

To optimize the benefits of calming techniques, it is crucial to create a calm and supportive environment for children with autism. Here are some strategies to consider:

  • Predictability and Routine: Establishing predictable routines and clear expectations can help children with autism feel more secure and reduce anxiety. Consistency in daily activities and schedules provides a sense of stability and can minimize the likelihood of overwhelm.
  • Sensory-Friendly Spaces: Creating sensory-friendly spaces can help children with autism feel more comfortable and calm. Consider minimizing visual clutter, providing soft lighting, and offering a variety of sensory experiences, such as tactile objects and calming music.
  • Structured and Visual Supports: Visual supports, such as visual schedules and social stories, can help children with autism understand and navigate their daily routines. These visual aids provide clear communication and help reduce uncertainty, leading to a more peaceful environment.
  • Positive Reinforcement: Encouragement and positive reinforcement play a significant role in creating a supportive environment. Acknowledge and celebrate your child's efforts and achievements, fostering a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.
  • Open Communication: Establish open lines of communication with your child to better understand their needs and challenges. Encourage them to express their feelings and provide a safe space for them to share their experiences.

By incorporating these strategies into the child's environment, caregivers can create an atmosphere that promotes calmness, reduces anxiety, and supports the effectiveness of calming techniques. Remember, each child is unique, so it's important to tailor the environment to their specific needs and preferences.

By recognizing the importance of calming techniques and creating a calm and supportive environment, caregivers can empower children with autism to navigate overwhelming situations, develop effective coping mechanisms, and experience a greater sense of peace and well-being.

Deep Pressure Techniques

When it comes to helping children with autism calm down, deep pressure techniques can be highly effective. These techniques provide a gentle and comforting form of sensory input that can help reduce anxiety and promote relaxation. In this section, we will explore three deep pressure techniques: weighted blankets and lap pads, hugging and squeezing, and deep pressure massage.

Weighted Blankets and Lap Pads

Weighted blankets and lap pads are designed to provide a calming and grounding effect on children with autism. These therapeutic tools are filled with small weights, such as plastic pellets or glass beads, distributed evenly throughout the fabric. The gentle pressure exerted by the weighted items helps to promote a sense of security and calmness.

The weight of the blanket or lap pad should be determined based on the individual needs and preferences of the child. It is recommended to choose a weight that is around 10% of the child's body weight. However, it's important to consult with an occupational therapist or healthcare professional for guidance on selecting the appropriate weight.

Weighted Item and Recommended Weight

  • Weighted Blanket: 5 - 15 pounds
  • Lap Pad: 1 - 5 pounds

Hugging and Squeezing

Hugging and squeezing provide deep pressure input through physical touch, which can help children with autism feel safe and secure. The pressure created by a comforting embrace can have a calming effect on the nervous system, reducing anxiety and promoting relaxation.

Encouraging a child with autism to engage in hugging or squeezing activities can be beneficial. This can include giving them a gentle hug, using a therapeutic squeeze toy, or providing a firm squeeze with a hand or a soft ball. It's important to be mindful of the child's sensitivity to touch and respect their personal boundaries.

Deep Pressure Massage

Deep pressure massage is another effective technique for promoting relaxation in children with autism. This technique involves applying firm but gentle pressure to the muscles and joints, helping to release tension and provide a soothing sensory experience.

Deep pressure massage can be performed using various techniques such as gentle kneading, firm strokes, or using a massage tool. It's important to start with light pressure and gradually increase as tolerated by the child. Seeking guidance from a trained therapist or occupational therapist can be beneficial to ensure the massage is performed correctly and safely.

By incorporating deep pressure techniques like weighted blankets and lap pads, hugging and squeezing, and deep pressure massage, caregivers can provide calming sensory input to children with autism.

These techniques can help reduce anxiety, promote relaxation, and create a soothing environment for the child. However, it's important to remember that each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. It's essential to observe and adapt these techniques based on the individual needs and preferences of the child.

Sensory-Based Techniques

Children with autism often experience sensory overload, which can contribute to feelings of overwhelm. Implementing sensory-based techniques can help create a calming environment and provide support for children with autism. Here are some effective sensory-based techniques to consider:

Sensory Breaks and Timeouts

Sensory breaks and timeouts can be beneficial for children with autism to regulate their sensory input and emotions. These breaks provide a chance to step away from overwhelming situations and engage in activities that promote relaxation and self-regulation.

Sensory Break Ideas

  • Engaging in deep pressure activities, such as squeezing a stress ball
  • Taking a walk in nature or spending time in a quiet space
  • Listening to calming music or using noise-cancelling headphones
  • Engaging in sensory play with tactile materials, like playdough or sand

Visual Supports and Calming Tools

Visual supports and calming tools can be helpful in reducing anxiety and providing structure for children with autism. These tools can include visual schedules, social stories, and sensory aids that offer a visual representation of expectations and tasks.

Visual Supports and Calming Tools

  • Visual schedules outlining the daily routine
  • Social stories explaining specific situations and how to manage them
  • Calming tools like fidget spinners or stress balls for tactile stimulation
  • Weighted blankets or lap pads for deep pressure and comfort

Sensory Diet and Activities

A sensory diet refers to a personalized set of activities designed to meet a child's sensory needs and promote self-regulation. Engaging in sensory activities can help children with autism feel more grounded and calm.

Sensory Diet Activities

  • Swinging or rocking to provide vestibular input
  • Engaging in proprioceptive activities, such as jumping on a trampoline
  • Offering tactile experiences through activities like finger painting or playing with textured materials
  • Creating a sensory-friendly environment with dimmed lights and soft music

By incorporating sensory-based techniques into daily routines, caregivers can create a supportive environment that promotes calmness and helps children with autism manage overwhelm. It's essential to tailor these techniques to the individual needs and preferences of each child, ensuring that they feel safe and comfortable in their surroundings.

Breathing and Mindfulness Exercises

When it comes to helping children with autism calm down, breathing and mindfulness exercises can be incredibly beneficial. These techniques can promote relaxation, reduce anxiety, and enhance self-regulation skills. In this section, we will explore three effective techniques: deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation.

Deep Breathing Techniques

Deep breathing exercises are simple yet powerful tools for promoting calmness and reducing stress in children with autism. By focusing on their breath, children can regulate their emotions and achieve a sense of relaxation. Here are two deep breathing techniques that can be practiced:

  • Belly Breathing: This technique involves taking slow, deep breaths by expanding and contracting the belly. It can be done in a seated or lying-down position. Encourage the child to place one hand on their belly and the other on their chest. Instruct them to take a slow breath in through the nose, filling their belly with air, and then exhale slowly through the mouth, emptying the air from their belly.
  • Square Breathing: This technique helps children establish a rhythmic breathing pattern. Instruct the child to imagine a square shape. As they inhale slowly through the nose, have them visualize tracing one side of the square. Then, as they hold their breath, they imagine tracing another side. Next, as they exhale slowly through the mouth, they trace the third side, and finally, as they hold their breath again, they trace the fourth side of the square.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique that involves systematically tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in the body. This technique helps children with autism become more aware of tension in their bodies and teaches them how to release it. Here's how it can be practiced:

  • Guide the child to tense a specific muscle group, such as their hands or shoulders, for about 5-10 seconds. Encourage them to focus on the sensation of tension.
  • Instruct them to release the tension and let the muscle group relax completely. Encourage them to notice the contrast between tension and relaxation.
  • Move on to the next muscle group, such as their arms or neck, and repeat the process of tensing and relaxing.

Progressive muscle relaxation can be done in a quiet and comfortable environment, and it's important to ensure that the child feels safe and supported throughout the exercise.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation practices can help children with autism develop a greater sense of awareness and focus. These techniques can assist in reducing stress, improving emotional regulation, and enhancing overall well-being. Here are some mindfulness and meditation exercises that can be beneficial:

  • Body Scan: Guide the child to pay attention to each part of their body, starting from their toes and moving up to their head. Encourage them to notice any sensations or feelings in each body part without judgment.
  • Mindful Observation: Ask the child to choose an object in their environment and focus their attention on it. Instruct them to observe the object carefully, noticing its color, shape, texture, and any other details. Encourage them to engage all their senses in the observation.
  • Guided Imagery: Lead the child through a guided visualization exercise, where they imagine themselves in a peaceful and calming place. Guide them to use their imagination to explore the details of the environment and create a sense of tranquility.

Mindfulness and meditation exercises can be adapted to suit the child's preferences and abilities. It's important to practice these techniques in a quiet and comfortable space, allowing the child to fully immerse themselves in the experience.

By incorporating these breathing and mindfulness exercises into a child's daily routine, caregivers can provide them with valuable tools to manage stress, promote relaxation, and enhance emotional well-being. Remember, consistency and patience are key when introducing these techniques, and it's essential to tailor them to each child's individual needs and abilities.

Communication Strategies

Effective communication strategies play a vital role in helping children with autism calm down and manage their emotions. By utilizing visual schedules, social stories, verbal and non-verbal communication techniques, and recognizing and responding to triggers, caregivers can create a supportive and understanding environment for children with autism.

Visual Schedules and Social Stories

Visual schedules and social stories are powerful tools that provide structure and predictability for children with autism. A visual schedule uses pictures or symbols to outline the sequence of activities or tasks, helping children understand what to expect throughout the day. This visual representation can reduce anxiety and promote a sense of control.

On the other hand, social stories use simple language and visual cues to explain social situations, emotions, or behaviors. They help children with autism understand and navigate social interactions, which can be challenging for them. Social stories can be customized to address specific calming techniques or coping strategies, providing children with a clear understanding of how to regulate their emotions.

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication Techniques

Effective communication is essential for children with autism to express their needs and emotions. Caregivers can use a combination of verbal and non-verbal communication techniques to support and connect with these children. Some strategies include:

  • Clear and Simple Language: Using concise and straightforward language when providing instructions or explanations can enhance understanding.
  • Visual Cues: Incorporating visual cues such as gestures, facial expressions, and hand signals can supplement verbal communication and aid comprehension.
  • Visual Supports: Visual aids, such as PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System), can provide a means of communication for non-verbal or limited-verbal children.
  • Listening and Patience: Providing ample time for children to process information and respond, and actively listening to their needs and concerns, can foster trust and effective communication.

Recognizing and Responding to Triggers

Children with autism may experience triggers that lead to overwhelm or meltdowns. Caregivers should be vigilant in identifying these triggers and responding appropriately. Some common triggers include loud noises, bright lights, changes in routine, or sensory overload. By observing and understanding the individual triggers for a child, caregivers can implement proactive strategies to minimize their impact.

Trigger and Calming Strategy

  • Loud Noises: Use noise-canceling headphones or provide a quiet space.
  • Bright Lights: Dim the lights or use sunglasses.
  • Changes in Routine: Prepare the child in advance and provide visual cues.
  • Sensory Overload: Offer a sensory break or provide a calm-down corner.

By recognizing and responding to triggers, caregivers can help children with autism navigate overwhelming situations and implement appropriate calming techniques.

Communication strategies are invaluable in supporting children with autism in managing their emotions and finding a sense of peace. By incorporating visual schedules, social stories, effective verbal and non-verbal communication techniques, and understanding and responding to triggers, caregivers can create a supportive environment that promotes emotional well-being and overall development.

Supportive Tools and Resources

When it comes to helping children with autism calm down, there are various supportive tools and resources available. These resources can provide additional assistance and guidance for both the child and their caregivers. Here are three key supportive tools and resources for managing overwhelm in children with autism.

Occupational Therapy

Occupational therapy is a valuable resource for children with autism. It focuses on enhancing the child's ability to engage in daily activities, develop skills, and improve overall quality of life. Occupational therapists work closely with the child to identify their specific sensory needs and develop personalized strategies to address sensory challenges.

Through sensory integration techniques, such as sensory diets and sensory-based activities, occupational therapists help children with autism regulate their sensory experiences, reduce overwhelm, and improve their ability to engage with their environment. These techniques may include activities that provide deep pressure, proprioceptive input, and opportunities for sensory exploration.

Support Groups and Community

Being part of a support group or community can provide valuable emotional support and a sense of belonging for both children with autism and their caregivers. These groups offer a safe space to share experiences, exchange knowledge, and learn from others who are going through similar challenges.

Support groups may be available both online and offline, providing opportunities for individuals to connect with others in their local community or from around the world. Participating in support groups allows caregivers to gain insights, find encouragement, and access resources and strategies that have proven helpful for others in similar situations.

Seeking Professional Help

In some cases, seeking professional help from therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists may be necessary to address the specific needs of a child with autism. These professionals have specialized knowledge and expertise in working with individuals on the autism spectrum and can provide tailored interventions and strategies to manage overwhelm effectively.

A professional may conduct assessments to gain a deeper understanding of the child's unique challenges and develop a comprehensive treatment plan. This plan may include a combination of therapy sessions, behavior management techniques, and specific interventions to address sensory sensitivities and promote emotional regulation.

It's important to remember that each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. The supportive tools and resources mentioned here are just a starting point, and it's essential to collaborate with professionals, caregivers, and the child themselves to develop an individualized approach.

By utilizing these supportive tools and resources, caregivers can help children with autism navigate overwhelm more effectively, promote self-regulation, and create a calm and supportive environment for their growth and development.


Let's remember that it's all about patience, understanding, and tailored approaches. Each child is unique, so there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to learn their triggers, preferences, and comfort zones.

Empathy is key. Be a calming presence and provide reassurance in a way that suits the child. Introduce sensory tools or activities that resonate with them, creating a safe space for self-expression. Effective communication, both verbal and non-verbal, plays a significant role in building trust and connection.

In this journey, collaboration with educators, therapists, and family members is invaluable. By working together, we can create environments that nurture the well-being of children with autism, helping them navigate the world with a sense of comfort and security. Let's continue to embrace the unique strengths and qualities of every child as we move forward in fostering understanding and support.


steven zauderer

CEO of CrossRiverTherapy - a national ABA therapy company based in the USA.

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